Have you given much thought to the phrase, God loves you, as it relates to your parenting?

Many people use this phrase as if to express merely a sentimental view of God’s feelings toward us. Yes, God has feelings for his children, but often people say God loves you in a casual feelings-oriented only manner. But is that the totality of God’s love—his feelings toward us? Absolutely not! If that were the case, we would not be hopeful people. More than just feelings, God demonstrates His love through action.

God’s Love in Action

Consider these two verses.

Romans 5:8 ESV

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Did you notice that God puts his love in action? He doesn’t merely feel a certain way about us; he proves his love for us by what He does: He shows, He gave.

God’s Children are to Display Love in Action 

And because God’s love is one that shows forth through action, he expects his children to live the same way. Consider the teachings of Jesus.

John 13:34

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 

Read that verse again and pay attention to the third word.

Commandment—what does that have to do with love? A commandment is something that is to be done. Thus, Jesus is telling his disciples that love is to be put on display through action just as he had loved them. Verse 35 goes onto say this is how people will know that they are his disciples—by their love on display (not merely their feelings toward one another).

A couple of chapters later, Jesus reinforces this again.

John 15:12-13

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Notice here that love for one another is associated with laying one’s life down for friends. Action.

We find this to be true in other passages as well. For example,

1 Corinthians 16:14 Let all that you do be done in love.

1 John 4:21 says, and this commandment we have from him; whoever loves God must also love his brother. 

Now, God does not merely want us to feel a certain way about him. He wants action. Why else would he say You shall be holy, for I am holy (cf. 1 Peter 1:13-25). And the love that we have for him displayed in our lives is to reflect how we treat others. We are to demonstrate love in action.

Consider Matthew 5:43-48, where Jesus calls us to love our enemies. Certainly, this isn’t about just having warm fuzzy feelings about our enemies. No, our actions are to be a display of the love of God for us, as expressed through Jesus Christ. 

Love in Action and Parenting

So, what does God is love, have to do with parenting?

We are to teach our kids about the love of God and to help them display that love to others. So, let me offer you two tips on how to help your children show that in their relationship with everyone in your house.

First, teach them that God demonstrates his love in Action—expressly and emphatically through Jesus Christ. (see Romans 5:8 and John 3:16 as mentioned above for example).

Secondly, help define love for them and show them how to live out that definition.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a is an excellent help in this regard. Notice how Paul defines love in those verses. Action. Action. Action.  

Now take those verses and break them up into phrases. For example, love is patient, or love is kind, or love does not insist on its own way. And then consider using them in these two ways.

Have a daily love phrase to highlight for your children. Tell them, for example, “Today we are going to practice loving one another by not insisting on our own way.” Then give then a couple of examples of how they can live that out. (i.e., not expecting his sibling to do what he wants all the time or insisting on doing things a certain way when you have asked him to do otherwise).

Another way to use these phrases is during moments of conflict. When your children are rude or unkind, you can take them to these verses to point out that love is not rude, and that love is kind. Then help them understand how their actions were not loving.

Don’t stop there, though! Through all of this, you want to regularly take them back to God’s love for us through Jesus so that they see their need for Christ. (We are not trying to make moral robots but rather disciples of Jesus who trust in and follow him).

God’s Love in Action as a Parent

This also applies to our parenting. I know that I get convicted when I read that love is not irritable. Sometimes I get irritated with my children and respond poorly to them. My response to them is not displaying love to them (even if they are pushing my buttons).

As parents, we also want to make sure we are not only teaching our children these truths but modeling for them how to be loving in our own lives in how we treat them and our spouse.

God has demonstrated his love for us through Christ. Let us consider this week how we can display love in action to others in our home. Especially in a time where we potentially find ourselves tense from social-associating with our family.