You’ve probably heard the saying, “you don’t want to be THAT person”, but what if you’re entangled in a life circumstance with THAT person through work or family? What is a scoffer and how do you deal with a scoffer?
The Bible tells us that Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived and based on the Book of Proverbs he must have dealt with many difficult people and situations as he uses the Hebrew word luts (phonetically loots) for scoffer more than a dozen times.
This word means: to make mouths at, i.e. to scoff or have in derision, interpreter, ambassador (a bad one), make a mock, mocker, and scorner. A scoffer is generally surrounded by similar words like the Hebrew word zed (phonetically zade) which means arrogant, presumptuous, and proud. Other words describe this person as quarreling and full of strife. Thus, a scoffer is a very difficult person who is either clearly not a Christian, or could be the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing who is not a true follower of Christ.
For instance:
Proverbs 21:24 (ESV) – “Scoffer” is the name of the arrogant, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride.
Proverbs 24:9 – The devising of folly is sin, and the scoffer is an abomination to mankind.
So how do we deal with a scoffer? First, we must let the Bible inform us, we must heed the warnings and recognize the danger. For example:
Psalm 1:1-2 – Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers, but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.
Proverbs 9:7-8 – Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
Proverbs 14:6 – A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding.
Proverbs 22:10 – Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.
Based on God’s word, and the wisdom provided, we must be very careful with a scoffer. We shouldn’t seek their counsel and we shouldn’t counsel, rebuke, or reprove them because it will only create hatred in them toward us and bring injury to us. However, there may be a time where you must drive away a scoffer, which means you shouldn’t handle it alone. You will need to get others involved who have the authority to help you, even a restraining order.
But what about loving our enemies? Aren’t we supposed to love them? Yes, but sometimes staying away, driving away, or leaving someone alone is the best way to love them, while protecting you and your family in a God honoring way.
If you find yourself in a difficult situation with a scoffer, and it may take a while to identify them as such, the best advice is to inform yourself with the Word of God, heed the truth, seek wise counsel, and pray. Pray for wisdom, pray for the difficult person, that their heart will be softened to the gospel, and they will see their sinful ways, repent, and turn from that path.
But more importantly, pray and ask that God will reveal to you how this difficult circumstance can best change you. Why is this difficult person in my life? God, what are you teaching me through this challenging circumstance? Perhaps it’s not the scoffer God is working on, perhaps he’s refining us through a difficult person.
If you’re in the heat of battle with a scoffer, and have been wounded by them, take heart, for God has promised He will never leave you nor forsake you and His mercies are new every morning. Seek Him, seek help, and as much as it depends on you – seek to live peaceably.
I’ll end with Paul’s exhortation in Romans 12:17-19 (ESV):
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
This is good counsel as of late I have been verbally attacked by one in particular Scoffer dressed in Sheeps garments only to devour the sheep with all kinds of False sayings and even the unwise little lambs can’t yet See this Imposter as such and welcome him in to the sheepfold Not knowing this wolf feeds on them and has No Spiritual food with Living Substance to bring into the circle but waits for an opportune time to Inject his spiritual poison to wound the body of Christ and in many cases kill one’s own soul by allowing the DARKNESS to overun them as if it is Light. As you say sometimes we have to depart and yet my heart is with the poor sheep that he’s there to both Rob steal even their souls killing them with his subtle ways. God AWAKEN your own so they can See Spiritually this Mockery Amen
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Mark. I’m glad this was helpful. I pray that God will give you much wisdom, endurance, and discernment in dealing with the scoffer in your specific situation. Grace and peace…
Hello… This is a great article… And really shows how we have to be careful with certain people..
My daughter had an incident at school…she seems to be a target for bullies as she is very kind and friendly, bubbly girl. She was called stupid. I told her to next time stand up for herself and to tell the bully never call me that again… And if the bully continues to bully her to punch her in the face…now I know this isn’t exactly the christian way but what would you tell your children? Isnt the best way to love yourself is also to protect yourself and not allow others to harm you?
Hi Marcela, thanks for commenting. In this situation with your daughter, she should ask the bullies to stop and report it to her teacher or school administration, who are in the best position to help. Many schools have a policy against bullying and they are well aware of their need to enforce it. Thus, encourage her to report it and seek help.
The Christian way is to love your neighbor as yourself, to pray for our enemies, and to share the gospel. However, when in harms way, and each situation may be different, it’s best to bring in those in authority to assist, while still doing the other – when possible. If there is no other option, defending or protecting oneself may be required, but one has to be willing to accept any consequences associated with those actions. For instance, suspension from school for fighting.
I like how bible based this article is 🙂! I read it having thought some of the same scriptures. Very well done and is a good solution to a confusing situation. Identifying a scoffer some times is as hard as see camouflage but after repeated times over time I’ve identified some and I kept my self like King David when he behaved himself wisely. From the persecutions Saul and left it in the hands of Jesus in prayer. Jesus all ways has a way of ether helping that person or driving them away if they don’t humble under his weight. It’s like they ether fall on him and become broken or he falls on them and grinds them to powder.
No. That is not living in the power and authority and dominion of Jesus Christ!!!!
More than conquerors????
Or passively avoiding.
If God is for me, Who can be against me!!!!
We wrestle not against flesh and blood…
Come on man, JESUS said, we can do the same things HE did/does, and more!!!!
I agree with the article you wrote.
However, I am sick and tired of Christians bending over and taking it.
Scoffers.
Read about Elisha and the 42 scoffers. What did he say to them?
We do not know the WORD, JESUS.
Reading a couple verses a day?
You want to be the Righteousness of GOD through Christ Jesus. As HE is, so are we!!!
Don’t read, study.
Work out your own salvation, through fear and trembling. We overcome the devil by the Blood of The Lamb and the Word of our testimony!!!
What’s your testimony???
Tim, what a blessing this article is. I have found myself surrounded with close family members who are very prideful. Some say they are Christians, but are divisive and proud. I have seen that God is using these people to mold and shape me. But after years of praying for them and trying to understand what is going on, this article named it, explained it, and has know shown me why I am the one getting injured… because I keep trying to correct or help them see. One is a child and no matter what, I can’t get my child to see past the pride. This has given me the tools that I need to love them properly and to let God deal with their sin and pride.
Thank you again for this article.
Hi Jessica,
Thank you for commenting. I’m glad this article has been a blessing to you. God’s Word is so powerful in helping us deal with difficulties and challenging relationships. May you be encouraged…
What if that scoffer is your husband? And will not see his ways as harmful to his family? And refuses to change or get any sort of counsel?
Hi Krissie,
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. It’s challenging to provide specific marriage advice in this format. I do urge you to trust the Lord as you walk forward expectantly in what He is going to do in and through your life, in your family, and in your husband. I pray that you’ll abide in Him, meditate on His Word, and find refuge and strength in Him. James 1 and 1 Peter 1 are particularly helpful to meditate on when enduring trials. Pray for your husband and love Him as best you can, while you seek help from a pastor at your local church or from a Biblical counselor in your area. You may search for a counselor via this link: https://biblicalcounseling.com/.
And remember as much as it depends on you seek to live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:17-19). If you are in an abusive situation, please don’t delay in reaching out for counsel.
Tim,
Good article.
I am interested in hearing some modern-day examples of what a scoffer may look like. I know some very difficult people and sometimes I am even labeled one myself but, am I myself a scoffer?
The conclusion that if one is a scoffer is quite damning in this article. “Thus, a scoffer is a very difficult person who is either clearly not a Christian, or could be the proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing who is not a true follower of Christ.”
From some of the replies above, I see that the word scoffer being used in situations where it may be being used incorrectly. Some people may be just difficult, like prickly pears, and some may be bullies but are they, scoffers? If the word is not properly understood, I see that one might label someone a scoffer and therefore also be labeled as a non-believer, a very serious assumption.
Hi Strom,
Thanks for commenting. Yes, we don’t typically use the word scoffer these days and we have to be careful throwing around labels. Christians should give others the benefit of the doubt when it comes to interacting with difficult people who may be having a bad day, prickly pears, etc. We should also follow the Matthew 18 example of dealing with situations involving when someone sins against us. We’re all sinners who sin and that bad news is why we need the good news of Jesus Christ.
When it comes to defining a scoffer it often requires a long time for their pattern of behavior to be established. We obviously can’t fully know someone’s heart, but we can see their actions. Much like how a Christian is determined and known by their fruit a scoffer likewise produces fruit. The sowing and reaping principle in the Bible is clear and you’ll find scoffers are producing a lot of bad fruit leaving a path of destruction in their wake. A pattern of destructive relationships is highly likely. A pattern of not being teachable or willing to listen to counsel when confronted is also highly likely. Thus, their own actions define their unbelief.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:22-24
I believe the biblical definition of a scoffer aligns perfectly with what is now being referred to as a narcissist.
People who suffer from this sin cannot be mistaken, especially if you’ve been in an intimate or close relationship with one. They leave a long history of failed relationships with established patterns of abuses.
Unfortunately, they’re usually not willing to admit they have a problem and their often overblown ego/pride keeps them from seeking and or receiving treatment/biblical counseling.
I know because I am married to one and have exhausted all efforts, both in prayer and fasting for his deliverance.
Hi Ngbabe,
My heart broke hearing your story. I am going through a situation at work with someone who used to be my friend. She had all the traits of a scoffer and I was very ignorant of the Proverbs so I overlooked alot of signs. But in my heart I knew something was wrong and brushed it off anyway.
My heart stirred the more I hung around her; I couldn’t stand her company. At first I thought I was either sensitive or not an understanding person. I would seek self help books, advice, and worldly devices that left me feeling conflicted and left in various directions. The scriptures was the only thing that comforted me. Finally, I thought to save the friendship by reproving her. I meditated on this for a short bit, and even wrote down what I wanted to say. She was very proud so I wanted to make sure I was gentle and that my words didn’t come off as an attack.
It has been 3 years of abuse since, and I regret every single day that I even spoke to her.
I have learned about the verse “do not rebuke a scorner.” I wish I wasn’t hasty in my actions and I wish I would have prayed harder for guidance before I spoke to her, because the word of God is serious. She was a scorner and very envious. That conversation took place three years ago, and still to this day, she slanders my name and spreads lies about me at work. Those who cannot think for themselves are quick to listen and adhere to the gossip. I have lost friend and people don’t talk to me like they used to. I have prayed hard and I admit, the situation has made me stronger in ways I never would have imagined. Other days it is very very hard.
Still, in the beginning, I got tired of praying for the abuse to stop, and I got even more tired of praying for her. But I still pray for her because it brings peace to me to prevent me from being bitter and hateful. Believe me, nothing takes away a night of sleep like hate and bitterness. I believed I was entitled to not forgive her because of the great evil she continues to cause me. But I was wrong. She was on my mind constantly, even on the weekends when I would not see her. I allowed her to take away my peace. I allowed her to take away my attention from my family, friends, chores, and even God. God was trying to tell me to forgive despite what she does. I did not want to… but I had to. I was the one who was destroying my self by that point; not her. Eventually I learned to forgive. After that, peace was returning to me, and the things she would do don’t really bother me anymore. I am still a work in progress dealing with this trial though.
I really hope you are doing ok. Don’t lose heart and continue to pray to God earnestly in Jesus’ name.
Dear Ngbabe,
You nailed it!! Narcissism seems closest to this. I feel for you and praying for the love of Christ to comfort your heart. I am divorced and in custody battle with one. Got this excellent advice from dear friend in Christ:
Pastor Chuck Swindoll commented on the verses in Matthew 7:6-12…
“If people’s hearts are cold toward God, we should avoid overly sharing Jesus’ message with them. Otherwise they may angrily attack us and drag Jesus’ sacred name through the mud. Perceiving peoples hostile nature is not the same as judging them… for God alone is their judge. (Matthew 7:1). Jesus frees us to walk away until their hearts are more receptive. (10:14)
My prayers go out to you, please know this❤️🙏✝️