Roger Nicole — one of the truly great saints of the American church in the 20th century, admired and respected by no less than J. I. Packer and other theological luminaries — wrote a must-read article titled “How to Deal with Those Who Differ From Us.” Nicole begins:

Christians have not managed in many cases to win over their opponents. They have shown themselves to be ornery; they have bypassed some fairly important prescriptions of Scripture; and in the end, they have not convinced very many people–sometimes not even themselves! …

We are called upon by the Lord to contend earnestly for the faith (Jude 3). That does not necessarily involve being contentious; but it involves avoiding compromise, standing forth for what we believe, standing forth for the truth of God–without welching at any particular moment. Thus we are bound to meet, at various points and on various levels, people with whom we disagree…

If we are careful to observe the principles that I would like to expound in this article, we may find that they are valuable not only in the religious field but also in the realms of politics, business and family. Who does not encounter from time to time people who are not in complete agreement? Whether it is between husbands and wives, parents and children, co-workers on the job or fellow members in the church, it is impossible to live without disagreement. Therefore it is good to seek to discover certain basic principles whereby we may relate to those who differ from us.

There are three major questions that we must ask; and I would like to emphasize very strongly that, in my judgment, we need to ask them precisely in the right order…

The three questions Nicole identifies are these:

1. What do I owe the person who differs from me?
2. What can I learn from the person who differs from me?
3. How can I cope with the person who differs from me?

Read the whole thing. It’s one of the best articles I’ve ever read… I came across it a few years ago and I still refer back to it, especially after things like yesterday’s entry from Dan and watching the videos he offered there.