OK. We know Valentines Day is right around the corner and men everywhere have one shot to get this right. So, ladies, let’s do a type of electronic intervention and help the man in your life understand what NOT to buy. I’ll start the list given my vast experience in being a jug-head.
1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
2. Any food item with the words “diet”, “light”, or “high fiber” on the label.
3. Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.
4. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the “man-side” of Sears.
5. A gift certificate.
6. Cash.
7. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way home on Valentines Day, even if you didn’t.
Ladies, help a guy(s) out and let us know the other things men need to avoid.
What NOT to get a woman for Valentine’s day?
Any device or appliance that helps her do her “work” – baking sheets, pots and pans, hedge trimmers, etc.
A card, and only a card.
Cook books, gardening books, dieting books – this goes along with books that helps her do her “work”.
I can’t think of too much more that Dan didn’t mention in his list – good list, Dan.
Any book by Dr. Laura on how to be a better wife.
Anything camouflage.
McDonalds gift certificates.
Anything red marked down from Christmas….or if you do, make sure to take the tag off. 🙂
DISCLAIMER: Let the record show that my husband has NEVER given me anything listed so far. These are NOT from personal experience.
The key for many women, guys, is form over function. Just remember that. :0)
I would probably permanently ban giving anything that would imply your true love could be better in any way- like a gym membership, or a self-help book. You can only imagine how well-received “How to Conquer your Food Addictions” or “Housecleaning for DUMMIES” would be. Nothing says “love” like “improve”! :0)
And there’s always Carnations…:-)
What about you guys? I’m always stumped on how to honor my sweet espousa, but don’t want to go the cologne/gift card route (yawn!). Anything from Radio Shack has been well received in the past, but I’m looking for creativity, not functionality, although my dearest would probably say “Nothing says true love like a 1/4″-1/8″ stereo-conversion jack”. :0) Still thinking…
Tickets to a sporting event.
Video games.
Great answer, Angela. It covers what NOT to get a woman and what TO get a man (in answer to Tracy’s question).
Oh, you are right, Tracy! I forgot about Carnations. NEVER buy carnations. The death nell of dating.
Oh, and anything you “think” is the right size, but don’t actually know for sure. Guessing will kill you. Too big, and “You think I’m THAT fat?” and too small is “You think I’m fat and wish I fit in this!”
Hey guys, how about a good old fashioned “day off.” No cooking, cleaning, childcare responsibilities….just a day to do whatever she wants. And it’s free. Except it just might cost you your sanity. (evil laugh from Lesli as she thinks back upon the past of week of family stomach flu, housekeeping chaos, and a baby who suddenly decided that she would refuse to wear a diaper…..) Nothing says I love you like an act of service like that!
Well, I think we have covered that very well ladies and Dan! Guys, if this was your shopping list and you are now totally lost on what to do, here are some suggestions … physical touch is nice, and I don’t mean bumping into someone on your way to the fridge! 🙂 Hugs, a massage … be creative!
Take some real time to talk (this would involve shutting off the TV and looking into her eyes). Write a love letter instead of just signing a card.
My man has done this and it’s very, very nice … plan a romantic dinner. It’s great to go out, but sometimes it can be lots of fun to stay home too. Guys, this involves cleaning the house (or at least the area you will be in – you do have to set the mood). Make plans to have someone babysit the little ones. Don’t know how to cook? It’s OK. Order take-out, but set the table up with candles and flowers (no Baby’s Breath in the flowers or it will kill the evening — these little flowers stink! 🙂
Plan a mini-honeymoon – a getaway for just the two of you. It doesn’t have to be far away — just get away for a day, maybe two if you can swing it. Take walks, hold hands, talk (and be a good listener), use words of endearment, show physical affection, love each other and be refreshed!
You can still buy the flowers, chocolate, jewelry if you want — but don’t neglect spending time with each other.
It would be fun to hear how creative our guys are on Valentine’s Day. So guys, if you want to share what you did (after Valentine’s Day), feel free. It may help some others out for next time. And remember, you do not have to wait a year to celebrate your love for each other!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
No live animals unless you’re 100 percent sure your wife wants to take on the chore of caring for another living thing in the household.
Plan ahead and write a poem for her.
Guys, don’t forget to help the kids remember “Mom” on Valentine’s Day also.
Don’t give anything that does not indicate a indulgence on your wife’s part – in other words, get something she would love to do/have for herself but NEVER does because she always takes care of herself last. (spa day, day off from being mom/housewife, gift certificate to nice restauarant she loves but no longer goes to, etc.)
Mmmmmmm….Strong warning…All men avoid the “I really didn’t think you’d take it so personally that I forgot about Valentines Day” speech.
Or the line, “I thought you wouldn’t want any chocolate because you want to avoid the calories. I’m just trying to help you in your pursuit.”
Appeal to the love language of the one you are trying to love; not yours.
*Homemade cards and poems-words of encouragement.
*A date night together talking or bowling (movies are not so romantic if you can’t engage in conversation)- Quality time
*An offer to clean the house or make dinner for her, (as Lesli said)-acts of service.
*A night of dancing or a massage (as Linda said)-Physical touch.
*The biggest box of Chocolate you can find, her favorite flowers, or jewelry -receiving love through gifts.
If your not sure which one she is in that category ask yourself how does she express love to me?
Just a note.. My father always bought me a box of chocolates every year for Valentines Day. My mom’s was the biggest box and my sister’s and I received a smaller box. This was a huge encouragement to me. I never felt the need to have a Valentine for the express purpose of wanted to feel special on Valentines Day. I received chocolates even the year I was engaged to be married to Dan. Dad’s remember your daughters this year and mom’s your boys. To this day I am so grateful to my father for including me on that special day.
One final note….Happy Valentines Day Dan! I love you! -Vicki
Guys, for some last minute help try this:
1. Whatever you plan to buy your wife bring it home and hide it.
2. Email clues where they might find it. Some clues may be helpful and some may not. (Don’t hide it anywhere they may get offended – like the laundry pile).
3. Make it mysterious and fun.
4. Warning…don’t tell the kids what it is or where it is hidden to avoid any torture tactics.
Ladies, thanks for all the great advice! After reading these suggestions I feel much better equipped to really express my love for my wife, Vicki! After really messing up several Valentine days in the past I have learned my lessons well!
BTW. Vicki, albeit public, this is the first part of my Valentine gift to you! I love you!