On the Life of the Mind blog, Tracy asked how others encourage their children to love God with all their minds. Tracy, as you know, I have children who are the ripe, old ages of 7 ½ and 5 ½ , so I’m speaking with great authority here. 🙂 Obviously, I say that in jest. I know I don’t have the wisdom of those parents who have older children, but I thought it would be great to have a new blog post where people tell their methods of doing this. Maybe we can all encourage and inspire each other with our ideas. Just to get things started, I thought I’d mention a few things we try to do. If others have some ideas of ways to encourage training our children to love God with “all their minds,” please chime in!
First, we encourage them to question. We try to frequently tell our children that they have good questions. If we don’t know the answers, we tell them that, and then we go to the Scriptures to find the answers. Of course, some of the questions they have are not readily available in a chapter and verse, but we try to model going to the Scriptures and reasoning through the issues. I admit that, when Savannah ponders things like “Mommy, why would God create Satan, knowing Jesus would have to die? If He knew Satan was going to tempt us and that we were going to sin, then it seems like He WANTED Jesus to die,” I do sometimes resort to the trusty “go ask your father, dear” answer. 🙂 I am very thankful that her father LOVES those kinds of questions, precisely BECAUSE they are not nice, pat “Just trust Jesus, Sweetie” answers. It’s an opportunity for them to see there are real problems that they will face in life, and sometimes answers aren’t neat and tidy. But, they are worth thinking about!
We also ask them questions that cause them to examine themselves. We try to do this as often as we can. For example, when disciplining, we ask them to explain what they did wrong and why they are being disciplined. If they do not clearly reason and accept responsibility for their own actions, but instead try to blame someone else for causing them to be in trouble, or they blame us for following through with discipline, then we continue discussion until they DO understand. Obviously, this is a process. Young ones sometimes don’t readily pick up on taking responsibility for their own actions. However, if you continually reason with them as to how they got in that predicament, they eventually should learn how to see things in a clear and reasonable way. This particular area of training has already shown great hope for our kiddos, as both have all but given up expecting us to accept someone else as the reason for their sin. 🙂 They still try every once in a while, but they know deep down, that it won’t work, so they usually don’t bother blaming others.
We also try to question them as a way for them to observe and learn from the world around them. We ask them questions as they notice nature, learn history, or see other people’s behavior – good and bad. That gives them opportunities to look for answers for themselves, rather than always having one given to them. One of our favorite answers to their “Why (“How,” “What,” etc.) does this happen?” questions is to answer “Why (“How,” “What,” etc.) do YOU think it happens?” Sometimes, they’re able to reason out an answer for themselves. Other times, we have to help them see the steps of how to arrive at an expected conclusion. Either way, they’re learning to think for themselves, and we are (hopefully) showing that we are a safe place to bring their questions and that questioning is a good way to find truth.
One other thing we try to do is to continue to learn and reason, ourselves. If we have a love for learning and thinking about Truth, then that will hopefully rub off on them, to some extent. When we show them that we don’t just learn as a means to an end (e.g., getting a good job), but rather for the sheer love of using the mind God has given us to consider His truths and His world, then we can ground them in the importance of being people of humility, who realize that we should be learning throughout our lives for God’s glory.
One last thing . . . . Tracy, when you asked about studying, I remembered a Bible study I bought for Savannah that I had intended to give to her around the time she’s in third grade, which is coming up (Yikes!). It’s an inductive study for kids called God, What’s Your Name? It, and other books in the “Discover 4 Yourself” line, can be ordered at http://www.Precept.org when their e-store is back on line. This study explores the different names of God (and His character) in the Scriptures. I pulled it out and put it on the table by my computer. As I was writing this post, she walked in and asked what the book was. When she saw that it was a Bible study for her, she yelled, “Woohoo! Now, I can be like a grown-up and study my Bible, too!” Wow!!! That was an exciting little moment, but it made me a little ashamed and convicted, too. I don’t often get quite as excited about doing my Bible study as she did at the thought of it. And I’ve been holding out until I thought she was “ready.” I guess that would be now! So, thanks for your comment/question, Tracy. It was a very timely thing for me.
Whew!!! Did I just write another book? I’m SO sorry!!! If anyone is still there, bear with me . . . hopefully, I’ll learn to be a little more concise, eventually. 🙂
To add to what Donna has said (with which I wholeheartedly agree), there are certain things we do to engage our children’s minds and to train them to think with a Christian worldview.
The first thing we do is to give them information that they are lacking. This is basic and virtually every loving, Christian parent does this.
Daughter: “Daddy, why can’t I see God?”
Daddy: “The Bible tells us that God is spirit. This means that He does not have a body like you or I do. We can only see bodies we cannot see spirits.”
The other thing we do -and I think this is crucial- is help them to reason from the information that they do have to answer related questions.
Daughter: “Daddy, how tall is God?”
Daddy: “Sweetheart, do you remember when we talked about God being spirit?”
Daughter: “Yes.”
Daddy: “So, does God have a body?”
Daughter: “No.”
Daddy: “When the doctor measures you to see how tall you are, what does she measure?”
Daughter: “My body.”
Daddy: “Is your spirit short or tall?”
Daughter: “Um…?”
Daddy: “That is kind of like asking what the number nine smells like, isn’t it?” (Borrowing from a Chris Rice song we play around the house sometimes.)
Daughter: “Yeah, it doesn’t make any sense.”
Daddy: “We call that a category mistake–when we ask a question that mixes up ideas that don’t go together, like asking what a number smells like. So, asking how tall God is, when God doesn’t have a body, is a category mistake.”
It would have been quicker and easier to have simply told her that “God isn’t short or tall because God doesn’t have a body and therefore doesn’t have height.” This would be accurate and give her the information. (I’m not even going to consider the answer that I fear many children receive to such a question- “Tall. Really tall.”)
However, the approach I took in this example does a few things that the simple approach lacks…
1. It reinforces the importance of the information that she already has. The Bible tells us that God is spirit for more than just answers to Bible Trivia games. That information informs everything else in life.
2. It teaches her to reason.
3. It teaches her to integrate everything we are teaching her into a consistent worldview. She doesn’t have palette of disparate facts. She has a picture of how the world is–the way God made it.
It’s amazing how kids are capable of so much more careful thinking than we think they are.
I asked my kids if it was a good thing or a bad thing that Jesus died on the cross. 6-year-old says “good thing.” 5-year-old says “bad thing.” That was a great discussion! They couldn’t just play to what I wanted to hear, because both answers were right. They actually had to think about why they gave their answers.
Then my 3-year-old son summed it up with “so it was a good thing and a bad thing, all smashed together!”
P.S. Eric and I are taking donations for our children’s therapy later in life. 😉
Very good wisdom. If you every find it hard to probe the mind of your child, try the Columbo tactic. When they make a statement say,”What do you mean by that?” Nathan,(5 year old) said to me yesterday, “Mom, do you know water is everywhere?” After asking the “What do you mean by that question” he went on to explain that it was at the lake and in China etc”. There was so much wonder and excitement in his voice as if he was sharing some new information with me. I was so glad I asked! It’s true that asking questions puts value on what they think and how they think.
I also agree that as they are young , you give them a strong Biblical foundation in an environment that is question friendly. God’s word is full of answers. Donna, Eric and Hugh, I really liked your examples.