Over the last several months, we have been humbled and excited as our church has grown both in depth of insight of God’s Word and people attending our services. It is exciting and challenging to serve those who are calling Grace their church home. Please pray for our Pastoral team and Directors as we seek to create environments conducive to spreading the fame of God.
The following are items WE WILL NOT be doing in order to attract people, but they sure are funny! Feel free to add another attendance “booster” to the list…
10. Watch Aslan the Lion take down a gazelle, live on the platform
9. More “open mic” opportunities during worship service
8. One of those fake shark fins in baptismal
7. Floating sermon points dance in front of your eyes via cool 3-D PowerPoint slides
6. Spiritual tech support guys will tell you not to just “re-boot your soul” every time you call
5. Sermon series: “Thomas Kincaid; the soft lighting Disciple”
4. Wi-Fi access for wireless hearing aides
3. Tazer the Sleeping Sound Booth Guy Day
2. Will start accepting coupons from non-tithing churches
1. Ability to TiVo the sermon
This list was created by Dave Tippett
Elder deathmatch!
12. Referral bonuses.
Apologies in advance; I know the blogs are a place where going off-topic and hijacking a blog is never tolerated…
(pause for irony and sarcasm to sink in)
On Sunday Dan asked what kind of New Year’s resolutions a passionate follower of Christ might make. I stumbled across this blog at Faith & Practice – it reminded me of Dan’s illustration about Jonathan Edwards’ resolutions.
Now – back to the show…
Hugh, thanks for the addition. Phil Johnson, mentioned in this blog as the “Pyromaniac,” is the guy I wanted you to check out. The bookmarks Phil features are an incredible hodge-podge of resources to examine all sorts of things theological and heretical. If you like bent humor and rigorious theological inspection, you will like this.
13. New church marketing slogan, “Grace Fellowship – now with 20% less John Lee.”
(He’s been doing so well on his diet and all.)
14. Conversion of Weber Industrial Drive into a one-way street.