I have been reading Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper again. I read it back in 2003. For some reason, this read through is crippling. Piper asserts that the purpose of all things in our lives should be to glorify God, found it greatest measure in Christ and have joy in it: work, play, relationships, eating, etc… I don’t deny the truth of his assertion. My struggle in this read is realizing just how far I fall short of it (see Romans 3:23). And in seeing how far I miss the mark, it seems impossible to rectify it, as I know the true things but don’t do them.
Now this is the part where I am supposed to fall on my knees and pray for God’s grace to help me. The funny thing is, I don’t have that desire right now. This is not to say my spiritual disciplines have failed. I know “desert” experiences will happen and those disciplines will get me through. I am in the Word almost daily. But focused prayer is the hard thing for me. Maybe it all comes down to a sleep deprived apathy. Is there anyone else out there caught under the weight of holiness?
Kevin,
There are so many times in my life where I can so identify with what you are going through. You would think being in Seminary, being constantly surrounded by God’s truth that it would be easier, but to be honest I often find it more difficult here than I did back in Georgia. It is way too easy to substitute knowledge of God for knowing God (something I have always had to fight against).
I do not think it all comes down to sleep deprived apathy – but coming from someone who has only been a father for two months (meaning less sleep) and is trying to balance school, work, and family – I think it definitely has a large part to play. For myself it usually seems to be related to some sin issue that I am dealing with or more commonly not dealing with.
A friend of mine once told me a story about when he was going through a time of spiritual desert. He was at a worse point than I think we are describing, where he was beginning to doubt his faith and though he constantly searched the word and prayed, he could not “feel” the presence of God. One of his “mentors” told him an analogy of what happens to grass when it goes through a drought. It starts to turn brown on top and look dead, but at the same time its roots and digging deeper and deeper in search for more water. Then when the rain comes back the grass is that much stronger because it has developed such a strong root system.
I do not know that this is the experience of all Christians. For myself, I think it is my own sin of pride and the attempt to work things out through my own power which lead God to take me on hikes through the desert so that I can really see how much I depend on him. For other Christians there may be other reasons, and for some there may be little or no need for spiritual deserts at all.
I don’t know if any of that was encouraging or not, but I think it always helps to know that others have similar experiences. I also want to suggest a book, though I have not read it yet, I plan on starting it in a couple of weeks when my school work dies down but this thread has encouraged me to start it a little bit sooner. It is also by Piper, but deals with those who are struggling with the fact that his other books often reveal that we do not desire God the way we should. It is called When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight for Joy.
Thanks for your response. I figured I was not the only one. Even more funny it came from my spiritual twin brother. And I can empathize with the new baby sleep schedule. 🙂
I’ve not heard of that book, but I had this list from desiringGod.org on my refrigerator for quite awhile. It helped, when I would take the time to review it.
So there’s Piper suggestions on how to do it. Notice no. 11.